I am learning to be a teacher. I am learning the techniques and developmental factors, I am learning how and why a child learns. I get to impact the development of children every single day. Every single day. My job is valuable. My job is important. My job is crucial. I should really stop underestimating my position in this world.
I often ask myself if this is really what I want, or if this is just my reaction to what I have been handed. I love the kids, I love the feeling of teaching I love watching them succeed and I love being the trusted adult they love and cherish. But then there are days I really ask myself if this is my niche. If this is what I'm "cut out" to do. I sometimes feel I do not have the characteristics a good teacher has.
I am so lacking in confidence.
'Ah, patience young one' you say. Is twenty-one old enough to know? Can 21 years of experience know anything? Am I taking a risk or am I settling? I feel content as long as I am doing. I am not settling or pretending to provide a happy life for myself and daughter. I am excited as hell to be in charge of my own room. I just hope I don't get bored of this like I do with things, like I do with jobs and people and so on.
Oh dearie me. Class all weekend. I'm excited, if only I could be a grown up twenty-one year old and have my homework all done. I'm learning. Always learning, trying, testing, failing, and trying again.
What the heck, you're only 21? Not that you look older, I just figured you were for some reason. You'll do FINE as a teacher. You're already a room lead and doing a great job. I always knew I could never be a room lead. Thanks for the nice comment on my blog! Miss ya, Chica.
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